Rocky Mountain Crap

File this one under Things That Don't Make Sense :

Apparently the Democratic Party has signed a contract with Coors making them the “beer of choice” at the Convention this summer. First, what the hell does “beer of choice” mean? Is this an exclusive contract? Will they only be serving piss at the DNC? Even if this doesn’t preclude other beers, this is still a terrible decision.

I know Coors is (technically) a Colorado company and the convention is in Denver so I can see the Democrats taking that into consideration but they’ve also gotta know that Coors has been moving jobs out of state for years and Pete Coors ran for Senate as a Republican. The company has a history of supporting right-wing causes. And they're anti-union. And racist, too. Why would the Howard Dean let this beer within 100 miles of the convention?

It’s sure as hell not the taste. Coors is just plain bad beer and anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t know shit about shit. Beer is supposed to be made from hops, malts, yeast, and water. Not corn. As we covered in the last two posts, yes, fruits and spices can be included for flavor, but adjuncts like corn don’t serve as anything but filler. Adjuncts are used to weaken the impact of the malts, which is to say, remove flavor. Coors, Bud, and Miller have made lots of money by adding corn and producing bland, flavorless beers, but even among these awful beers, I hate Coors the most.

Seriously people, this is a beer company that doesn’t have anything better to say about their product than its temperature. It’s cold? Excuse me? That’s all your pitching me? You don’t have anything positive to say about how your beer tastes? How about the quality of your ingredients? Anything? And why is colder necessarily better? Have the people at Coors heard that some beers are actually meant to be served at room temperature? Plus, last time I checked, temperature is pretty variable. If my fridge is set to 45 degrees, the contents of my fridge will be about 45 degrees. If I set my fridge to 35 degrees, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that any beer in my fridge, Coors or not, will be about 35 degrees. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here but I do not believe there is anything you can do in the brewing process that will guarantee the beer you produce will be any warmer or colder than any other beer.

What makes all this worse is that Denver is a town with a ton of wonderful microbreweries. Even Denver’s mayor is a brewer! He’s a Democrat, too. Why didn’t they ask him to provide beer for the event? I’m at a loss.