Rocky Mountain Crap

File this one under Things That Don't Make Sense :

Apparently the Democratic Party has signed a contract with Coors making them the “beer of choice” at the Convention this summer. First, what the hell does “beer of choice” mean? Is this an exclusive contract? Will they only be serving piss at the DNC? Even if this doesn’t preclude other beers, this is still a terrible decision.

I know Coors is (technically) a Colorado company and the convention is in Denver so I can see the Democrats taking that into consideration but they’ve also gotta know that Coors has been moving jobs out of state for years and Pete Coors ran for Senate as a Republican. The company has a history of supporting right-wing causes. And they're anti-union. And racist, too. Why would the Howard Dean let this beer within 100 miles of the convention?

It’s sure as hell not the taste. Coors is just plain bad beer and anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t know shit about shit. Beer is supposed to be made from hops, malts, yeast, and water. Not corn. As we covered in the last two posts, yes, fruits and spices can be included for flavor, but adjuncts like corn don’t serve as anything but filler. Adjuncts are used to weaken the impact of the malts, which is to say, remove flavor. Coors, Bud, and Miller have made lots of money by adding corn and producing bland, flavorless beers, but even among these awful beers, I hate Coors the most.

Seriously people, this is a beer company that doesn’t have anything better to say about their product than its temperature. It’s cold? Excuse me? That’s all your pitching me? You don’t have anything positive to say about how your beer tastes? How about the quality of your ingredients? Anything? And why is colder necessarily better? Have the people at Coors heard that some beers are actually meant to be served at room temperature? Plus, last time I checked, temperature is pretty variable. If my fridge is set to 45 degrees, the contents of my fridge will be about 45 degrees. If I set my fridge to 35 degrees, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that any beer in my fridge, Coors or not, will be about 35 degrees. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here but I do not believe there is anything you can do in the brewing process that will guarantee the beer you produce will be any warmer or colder than any other beer.

What makes all this worse is that Denver is a town with a ton of wonderful microbreweries. Even Denver’s mayor is a brewer! He’s a Democrat, too. Why didn’t they ask him to provide beer for the event? I’m at a loss.

No Zealot like a Convert

In between budget meetings here at work, I decided to make a quick check of the blog to see if Mark had recovered enough to post, only to find that he has insulted and misrepresented my taste in beer. I feel I must respond.

It is true that at one point in time I actually lectured Mark and many other people about how I felt fruit had no place in beer. I may have even invoked the Reinheitsgbot in defense of my position. To put it lightly, I was militant when it came to this issue. However, I have seen the error of my ways, I have repented, and I think the beer gods have forgiven me.

This is not to say that all fruit beers are good, Mark’s last post proved that pretty definitively (Note: I have always been against crunchberries in my Cap’n), and I’m still against any beer that requires the addition of fruit to make it drinkable. However, some of my absolute favorites are fruit based and I cannot imagine going back.

Here are a few fruit beers that get the Nick Seal of Approval:

Sam Adams Summer Ale - Mark and I share a love for this wheat ale brewed with lemon zest and the elusive grains of paradise. I can’t decide if this or Octoberfest is my favorite Sam offering.

Shipyard’s Pumpkinhead - My all time favorite beer, which along with the eponymous pumpkin, is spiced beautifully with cinnamon and nutmeg making it perfect for the fall weather.

Kriek Boon – I already linked to this above but it’s worth mentioning twice. It’s a cherry infused lambic that I can’t get enough of, and that’s coming from a guy who hates lambics.

All in all, I am a fruit beer proponent. Like I said before, there are a lot of bad fruit beers out there, but you can’t judge an entire group based on the performance of the a few individuals.

Fruit in Beer

Nick and I sharply disagree on this. I firmly believe that fruit belongs in beer... he firmly believes that fruit has no place in beer. Incidentally, he's wrong, but only sometimes.

Anyway, we just recently finished our exams here, so Wednesday night was a ROUGH evening. I was in no mood to even be within 100 yards of alcohol until last night. I was back at the neighborhood bar, and figured I'd try an interesting looking tap-- the Opa Opa Watermelon.

This is one of those cases where Nick was RIGHT. Holy hell, this was one of the worst things I've ever tasted.

I'm not even going to dignify it with a full review (plus, I spent too much time creating those damn links... how DO you do it, Nick?)...

Suffice it to say, it looks innocuous enough, though a little bit lighter and clearer than you'd expect from any beer... then I remembered it's WATERMELON. Of course it's going to look like urine.

Aroma? There isn't one. It smells like water... literally--there was nothing coming off the glass at all.

And the flavor is the coup de grace. I was literally unable to distinguish this beer from the taste of Cap'n Crunch. WITH Crunchberries. The only two differences I can determine: a) this is liquid, and b) as one of the people I was with pointed out, at least this will get you drunk... but for that to happen, you'd have to drink WAY more of this beer than anyone should be willing to drink. BLECH.

Ménage à Traquair

I promised that I would use this post to review a beer that people keep telling me I have to try and I challenged whether it could live up to the hype. The beer in question is Traquair’s House Ale. I’ll admit, I was skeptical. The only other Traquair brew I’ve had is the Jacobite, which, while fantastic, is not exactly an everyday beer, so I was just a little bit worried that the House Ale would be on the extreme end of the extreme beer category and leave me wanting. However, my fears were unwarranted.

Let’s get this straight, I’d been told this beer was good. I’d been told it was very good. My buddy Jason actually uttered the word “best” and followed it with the words “beer ever.” I just finished it. My response: Holy shit!

About 1/3 of the way through the bottle, I couldn’t resist myself any longer. I picked up the phone and called Mark. Here’s how the conversation went:

M – “Hey. How’re you?”
N – “Are you near a liquor store?”
M – “What?”
N – “Are you near a liquor store?”
M – “Umm, there’s one across the street.”
N – “Go there. Now.”

That’s how good this beer is. It’s “Get it now” worthy. It’s sweet but with a finish that’s got just the right amount of bitterness. As soon as I opened the bottle, the sweet smell overwhelmed my senses. At first it looks like a beautiful dark brown color but when the light shines through it you see that it’s actually a deep red. Perfect carbonation level with a nice, not too foamy head and, it’s oh so smooth. Seriously, it’s so smooth, you forget it’s 7.2%. Despite the distinct alcohol smell when I first took a whiff, you don’t taste it. There’s no bite at all. None. Just easy drinking.

After nursing this beer for an hour, here’s the analogy that kept bouncing through my head. It’s crazy and probably says more about me than the beer, but bare with:

This beer should be drunk the way you should have a threeway with Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman. Sure, you could lose you mind and be done with it in 5 minutes, it’d still be great, and no one would probably blame you, but how much better would it be to draw it out and savor every last moment of this event that will sure as hell never happen again? Same goes with the beer, it’s got an amazing flavor and it’s so smooth, I could just pound it back quickly but that would be such a waste. It’s just so good you have to make it last.

I love this beer. This beer is like Spinal Tap, it turns it up to 11. I may name my first born son “Traquair.” No that won’t work, Traquair would be better as a girl’s name. I’ll name my first born daughter Traquair. My kids are going to love me.

A Great Place to get Beer and an Okay Beer

The other day my buddy Jason picked out a couple of brews for me at our favorite local liquor store. Nikki’s Liquors is quite simply the best place to buy beer in Rhode Island. I know of no other place in the state, or anywhere else for that matter, with such a wide variety and such a helpful staff. On top of that, they do tastings on Fridays (something I need to take advantage of more often) and they let you mix your own six-pack and even give you a 10% discount when you do “mix-a-six.” Though I’ve never done it, you can also mix a case and they give you 20% off. Hands down, the best place around.

The first beer I tried was Flying Dog’s Tire Bite Golden Ale. Despite its name, this beer is actually a Kölsch and not a Golden Ale, the main difference being the origin of the ingredients and the prominence of the hops. Kölsches are a traditionally from the Cologne area in Germany and, while their not as hopped as an IPA, they certainly get more flavor from those wonderful flowers than their English cousin, which was originally brewed to compete with mass popularity of the always mild Pilsners.

Snobbish nit-picking aside, I was pretty excited to try this beer after some very nice encounters with the Flying Dog brewers at local beer festivals. The guys behind the taps were very friendly and eager to talk about their different brews. Unlike some other brewers I’ve met at those events, they didn’t get phased when I admited that I didn’t really like one of their options. Instead, they took it as constructive criticism and served up something they thought would be more to my liking. Really classy guys.

This brew is pretty solid but, honestly, nothing too special either. I love Kölsches and I’m dying for the chance to visit Cologne and get authentic experience of drinking with the locals and being served by a Köbes (for more info, read this) so maybe I’m unfairly setting the bar high whenever I have this fantastic beer variety.

Tire Bite is a light bordering on medium beer and, while on the hoppier end of the spectrum, it’s not overly bitter (plus, there’s just something about the taste of Hallertauer hops and I can’t get enough of). The toned down malts were a nice reprieve from all the malty beers I’ve been trying recently but, in general, I’d prefer if it if they were a bit more pronounced. There’s only an okay finish to this beer; you can taste a tiny bit of citrus but not enough to really make it interesting.

This is a good beer, but it just didn’t blow me out of the water. It’s smooth, it’s drinkable, it’s got a nice hop flavor, but I was still somehow left wanting. Maybe if I try it again with a traditional german dinner, I’ll feel better about it, but right now I can’t give it more than a B.

My next post will focus on the other brew we got from Nikki’s, which I’ve been repeatedly told is “one of the best beers on the planet.” We’ll see if it lives up to it’s rep.

PS – I didn’t bring the funny for this review but hopefully this will make up for it.

7 At One Throw

The bar next to my building is pretty fantastic; they have 24 constantly rotating taps, and very reasonably priced brews. The food's also pretty good, but you really go for the beer. It's pretty much THE hangout for folks in my program.

Anyway, they offer a sampler--four beers for $5.95. I'm not entirely sure how much each of their mini-glasses holds, but looking at a 2 oz. pour glass from the 2008 Extreme Beer Fest for comparison, I'd guess it's about 4-5 oz. per brew.

I was there recently with TheLadyFriend for dinner, and the rotating tap list looked, as always, INCREDIBLE. We both went for the sampler--she took the Long Trail Blackberry Wheat, Dogfish Head Aprihop, Allagash Tripel, and the Victory Abbey. I told her that the last two would taste very similar, and asked her if she was sure she liked Belgians. She asked me what a Belgian was, and I decided to let the matter drop.

For my first sampler, I ordered the Dogfish Head as well, along with a Clipper City Red Sky at Night Saison, an Ayinger Celebrator, and a Great Divide Titan IPA.

On to the beers:

The Dogfish Head was really interesting. I've had some truly great beers from Dogfish Head, but they also brewed one of the worst things I've ever tasted. (In fairness, the Raison D'Etre is usually reviewed as being a perfectly reasonable beer, so I might have caught a bad batch.) The Aprihop hits you with a cascade aroma pretty sharply, but there's clearly something else going on underneath--a clear hint of sweetness. The taste starts out with that sweetness--I don't think I've ever had an actual apricot, but if this is what they taste like, sign me up! It's an eminently drinkable beer, finishing with a citrus-tinged hop flavor... a great summer brew, and an excellent companion for my burger.

Saisons are apparently making a comeback, and the Clipper City made it clear why. The beer feels incredibly light--some interesting, subtle flavors, and a bit of spice on the finish. Nothing stunning, but a really tasty beer--the only possible downside is the stealthy 8% ABV--the alcohol is barely present in the taste, and I could imagine it sneaking up on someone mistaking this brew for a good session beer.

I'm not really an IPA-head, but I have been starting to drink more and more of them. The Great Divide was a better than average IPA--not nearly as good as the Boulder Mojo IPA or the scinitillatingly named Offshore IPA, but mildly interesting, very hoppy and unoffensive. I'd order it again if I were in the mood for an IPA--if nothing else, Great Divide has clearly missed the memo about the current hop shortage.

Lastly, the Ayinger. A quick search of the internet has revealed that this is one of the highest-rated beers on the face of the Earth--it's relatively easy to see why. The Celebrator is a pretty big dopplebock, packing an impressive flavor punch from the get-go: dark fruits, some slightly bitter caramel, and the tiniest hint of hops. The only downsides: I waited too damn long to drink the whole thing, and as it warmed up, the alcohol became a little too dominant for my tastes--it also developed the slightest oily feel as it became warmer and warmer. Still, my fault for ordering a dopplebock with a cheeseburger on a hot day.

TheLadyFriend didn't want a full beer after her sampler, but really wanted more of the Long Trail. For my second sampler, I got her a Long Trail, got one for myself, and added a Cape Ann Greenhorn Double IPA and a Southern Tier Uber Sun.

Probably my fault for drinking a blackberry wheat beer immediately after finishing the Celebrator, but I could taste almost nothing on this beer--I will absolutely try it fresh sometime, because TheLadyFriend really loved it. The other two, however, were really good.

I don't know anything about Cape Ann, and an internet search for the Greenhorn reveals only that it hasn't been reviewed widely, and that it's a limited release. I'm really bummed about that last part, because this was a hell of a beer. Hop punch like you can't believe--I think they were Simcoe hops, and Cape Ann made sure you could taste the difference. Some really faint citrus in the background of this one, but it was mostly just hopped up on hops.

Lastly, the Uber Sun. This puppy was basically an imperial wheat ale, at least according to the menu. It turned out to be so much more--all of the flavors you'd expect were there, kind of; the graininess just vanishes into the background, and fast--this beer has a ton of really tasty, complex, and surprising hops going on. I think that calling it an American Pale Wheat, (which the bar did,) is a huge mistake. It more or less defies any sort of classification in a single beer style. A pretty fantastic beer, though no less than I expected from Southern Tier, brewers of the greatest beer in the history of the world. At the rate this young brewery is going, they may well become my favorite brewery fairly soon.

A Beer Grows in Brooklyn, Part III

The last day of my journey in the capital of the world brought me to the source of all things evil: Yankee Stadium. Granted, the purpose of my visit to the Evil Empire was not beer related (it had a lot more to do with showing off my favorite hat to the local fans), but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to enjoy a few cold ones while I was there.

As is unfortunately the case at most stadiums, the beer options were quite limited and the prices were through the roof. Fenway’s not much better in terms of price, but at least you have the option of upgrading to something of actual quality if you want to. At a Sox game earlier this year, vendors had Guinness and multiple varieties of Sam Adams. In the Bronx, if you don’t want to drink yellow water, your only other option is imported yellow water. That’s kind of sad, especially when you consider that even my minor league Providence Bruins have some local offerings at their games. Oh well, maybe they’ll throw us beer aficionados a bone when they finish the new stadium.

After the game we were all itching for something drinkable so we headed over to the Alligator Lounge. It’s pretty much a standard bar with a handful of nice options on tap but what makes it special is that you get a free personal pan pizza with your first beer. It’s not like they’re microwaving some Domino's crap either, this was coming straight out of a brick oven and was made to order. Call me cheap, but I thought this was fantastic.

Knowing nothing about it, I ordered a Ramstein Classic. (It was the name that got me. It called out to my German ancestry and, come on, who doesn’t love “Du Hast”?) I did some research later and learned that it’s produced by the New Jersey based High Point Brewing Company, which specializes in wheat beers.

This was much darker than other wheat beers I’ve had. Even the darkest dunkelweizens aren’t opaque like this beer is and the head was an off white/tan color, reminiscent of some of the poorer stouts I’ve tried. I normally love dark beers but this one just didn’t work for me. Also, it really didn’t drink like a dark beer (which probably makes about as much sense as this). It's not particularly full bodied and, honestly, the flavor was virtually non-existent. It’s brewed with Tettnanger hops, which are some my favorites when homebrewing because of their great taste and pungent aroma, but I didn’t even know they were there until I looked at High Point’s website. After seeing all the wonderfully flavorful ingredients that go into this completely bland beer, I think what's most impressive is the brewers’ ability to mask them so effectively.

I found a review that called the Ramstein Classic a “guide for what a 21st century dunkelweizen might be.” I sure as hell hope not.

A Beer Grows in Brooklyn, Part II

Having just come back from Brooklyn, I thought I’d use today’s post to talk about the beer that really did grow in Brooklyn: Brooklyn Lager

There’s actually a cool story behind this beer: Steve Hindy was a foreign correspondent for the Associated Press who learned to homebrew in the early eighties while on assignment in Saudi Arabia, where the sale of alcohol is illegal. When he came home to New York, he shared his new passion with his friend and neighbor, Tom Potter. In 1984, the pair quit their jobs to pursue their brewing dream. At first, they paid a Utica based brewery to produce their beer but by 1996, were able to purchase an old Williamsburg matzah ball factory and turned it into the first functional brewery in Brooklyn in decades. These guys are the Jim Kochs of New York and deserve some major respect for laying it all on the line for their dreams.

Brooklyn Beer Co.’s flagship is an amber lager that packs a powerful malty punch. You get the nice cascade hop aroma on this beer but, once you take a sip, the malts take over. These are heavier malts than you would normally expect in a lager but it’s still nice and smooth all the way down. You get a good taste of the caramel malts in the finish, which is really the icing on the cake for this brew.

(Side-note: I’ve always found it kind of amusing that Boston Lager has such a fantastic hop-dominant flavor while Brooklyn Lager is so malt driven. There’s a part of me that wants to turn this into yet another aspect of the Boston-New York rivalry, but you really can’t do it. I mean, there’s nothing inherently evil about maltiness, so it just doesn’t fit.)

Brooklyn Lager is one of my favorite go-to brews. It matches up well with just about any meal and, while I normally think of it as more of a fall/winter drink, it’s definitely not too heavy for warmer weather. Go pick up a six-pack and enjoy this extremely drinkable beer.

Red Hook Long Hammer IPA

Nick didn't mention this, but while he's gainfully employed, I'm living happily as a graduate student in the greater Boston area. As a result, I'll often be posting around midday about whatever beer I'm drinking at that very moment.

I recently learned that the package store (New England speak for liquor-mart) across the street from me lets their customers mix and match six packs. The other night, when I should have been preparing for an exam, I went across the street and bought three six packs, containing around 12 brews. (It was actually one of those beers that gave me the idea to start the blog--the otherwise excellent owner of the liquor store recommended the beer strongly, and it turned out to be reasonably awful.)

Anyway, one of the random brews I tossed in was Redhook's Long Hammer IPA. I've had a few beers from this brewery before--they generally make a solid beer. For what it's worth, the Copper Hook Spring Ale is one of the highlights, though you'd have to act fast to grab it--it's a seasonal, and ending soon this year.

Given the heat, however, and the slightly spicy food I had for lunch, I figured an IPA was in order today, and I grabbed the Long Hammer from my fridge. Remember, I'm a student, so clean dishes and glassware are not my top priority these days... unfortunately, this means that unless I'm at a bar, beer is generally coming straight from the bottle.

Even in a bottle and with a stuffed nose, this brew's aroma packs quite a punch--hops right out of the gate, and strong hops at that. There's a very slight hint of sweetness, but not much.

It's light on the tongue, and hoppy, hoppy, hoppy. As it's been warming up, it's gotten a little less drinkable and a tiny bit more bitter, but that's to be expected. For a beer with this much hop-action, it's quite drinkable, but not very exciting or surprising. It's not a really big-flavored beer, but it is pretty close to a textbook IPA. If that's what you're looking for (or if it's just a really hot day,) this one's a good buy.

A Beer Grows in Brooklyn

I just got back from a visit to some friends in New York, the greatest city in the world. On top of getting to see some of my favorite people, this served as a an excellent excuse to try some new brews and to seek out the Big Apple’s finest watering holes. This was a decent length trip and we had a lot of catching up (read: drinking) to do so I’ll cover the entirety of my beer adventures in the city over the course of a few different posts. For now I’ll just stick to the highlights of my first night in Brooklyn.

My buddy Alex took me to a place that appealed to my inner (and outer) dork: Barcade. The walls of this place are lined with dozens of arcade games form the early eighties. I was in heaven. We’re talking everything from old stand-bys like Ms. PacMan and Donkey Kong to more obscure ones like Alex’s favorite, Dig Dug. I, of course, spent the night battling it out with my drug of choice, Tetris.

But this place was way more than a dive with a gimmick. They feature 24 rotating taps and have a cask option. With so many different choices, we decided to go out on a limb and try the most obscure beer on the menu to start the night – Bad Move. A couple of sips of Rogue’s Chipotle Ale were more than enough for me. I don’t quite know what I expected from a beer made with jalapeños but I had high hopes given the other fantastic brews Rogue makes.

The Chipotle starts off well enough; it has the nice malty flavor and aroma of their Amber Ale but it all gets choked away when it hits the back of your tongue. Ugg. There’s also an aftertaste on this beer that I'm pretty sure caused me to gag and vomit at the same time (let’s call it “gavomitting”). Rogue: I love you guys, you’re great, but you can’t honestly tell me you were sober when you taste-tested this stuff. Take this one back to the drawing board or, better yet, forget it ever existed. I know I’m ready to.

Luckily, the next beer I tried turned out to be a much better investment: Middle Ages Brewing Company's Syracuse Pale Ale. I’m not much of a pale ale or an IPA guy but this one easily got my seal of approval. It’s relatively light and is very very smooth, which makes it a solid choice for the spring and summer months. The malts definitely dominate in this one but it still has a nice, if mild, hoppy finish. This was the first Middle Ages brew I’ve had so I’m excited to have a new microbrewery to investigate.

I tried a handful more beers that night, including the Victory Pils and the Climax ESB both of which earned a moderate but not an overwhelming recommendation. I’d write more about them but by that point I was paying a lot more attention to the Tetris machine than anything else so it wouldn’t really be fair.

All in all, it was great night and if you’re ever in the area, make a trip to Barcade. Where else can you drink a microbrew and play Frogger at the same time?

Welcome to Beer Happens!!!

So, the hope is that we can drink numerous different beers--at least one new beer a day--until we run out of new ones to try, and then post some thoughts on them here for our loyal readers.